1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,979 Don't try to adjust your set, America. It's the sweater. 3 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,732 See, my baby parents, they're coming to visit. 4 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,234 Her mama made this little weak sweater for me, 5 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,361 and it makes her happy just to see me in it, 6 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,571 so here I am. 7 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,657 Now, see, my baby Wanda, she adores her parents. 8 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,200 She dotes on 'em. 9 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,078 Me, well, in the past, I always made sure 10 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,289 I was on the road when they came to visit. 11 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,207 Because they was always picking on me, 12 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,461 making little comments, judging me, saying I wasn't no good for her. 13 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,254 You know how in-laws do. 14 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,381 But see, now I can't leave. 15 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,050 Someone's got to be here with those doggone kids. 16 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:52,677 My kids. 17 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,679 Wanda's kids. 18 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,056 Damn kids. 19 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,016 Making me spend a whole week in hell. 20 00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,225 [doorbell rings] 21 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,728 -[Wanda] Bernie, they're here. -I'm coming, baby. 22 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,815 The sweater not just ugly. 23 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,358 It's itchy, too. 24 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,152 Well, you want to know what it's made of? 25 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,071 I say it's made of mosquitoes. 26 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:13,615 Excuse me, America. This is some bull. 27 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:18,787 Oh, there he is! You come over here and give your mother-in-law some sugar. 28 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:19,704 -Yes, ma'am. -Oh. 29 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:20,705 [laughing] 30 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:21,706 Hey, Ma. 31 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,083 Hey, baby. 32 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,752 Hey, uh, Da… I mean, Lloyd. Good to see you. 33 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,462 Good to see you, too, Bernie. 34 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,923 I see you still haven't found a barber yet, though. 35 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,050 [laughing] 36 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,011 Oh, Mom, Dad, uh, you all met the kids? 37 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,429 Oh, adorable. 38 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,306 -What did you bring us? -[Bernie] Jordan! 39 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,975 No, no. That's perfectly all right. That's perfectly all right. 40 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,394 As a matter of fact, we did bring you something. 41 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,358 Disclosing tablets. 42 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,693 Got 'em for all you kids. 43 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,570 They show you where you miss when you brush. 44 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,571 [Jordan grunts] 45 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:54,572 Oh, Daddy. 46 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,201 Thanks. Well, it was nice meeting you. 47 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,288 Uh, don't think I forgot about you two. 48 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,498 Ooh! 49 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,457 [laughs] 50 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,042 Oh! 51 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,335 Look, Bernie. 52 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:09,462 [laughs] What a, uh… 53 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,381 Ooh, a lovely afghan. 54 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,590 Another one? 55 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,384 Wow. Oh, Mama, it's beautiful. 56 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,593 You shouldn't have. 57 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,887 Oh, I know, but I remembered 58 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,014 how much Bernie loved his sweater, 59 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,724 so I made him this to match. 60 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,476 Oh, thank you, Ma. Thank you. 61 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,937 -Hey, I don't wear mine. -Why… why is that, Dad? 62 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,814 Thing itches. 63 00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:30,650 You know, I thought these two tones would look good in your house. 64 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,986 -You mind helping me with this luggage? -No, no. 65 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,364 That is, unless you think you're gonna scuff up your nails. [laughs] 66 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,199 [cackles] 67 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,661 Thank you, Mommy. 68 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,997 See what I mean, America? 69 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,166 They've only been here less than five minutes, 70 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,834 and already, they're starting. 71 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,169 Even when they're trying to be nice, they're annoying. 72 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,379 Look at this. 73 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,131 What the… is this? 74 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,508 [Bernie] Nessa? 75 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,011 I don't care if Todd's going to be there. 76 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,722 No. I'm just going to study. 77 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,056 [Bernie] Nessa! 78 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,600 Come on, baby. We're waiting on you. 79 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,893 The food's getting cold. 80 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,060 Coming. 81 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,063 No. I do not like him. 82 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,648 Donna, I don't. 83 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,942 -No, I don't like him. -Let me say something. 84 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,861 Hey, Donna, she don't like the boy, okay? 85 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,195 Do me a favor, hang up. 86 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,447 Come on, baby. 87 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,908 If I got to put up with them, you got to put up with them. 88 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,159 Come on. Come on, come on. 89 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,161 All right, I'm back. 90 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,079 Ma, can I help you find something over there? 91 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,289 Oh, no, no, baby. 92 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,166 I'm just putting things where they should be. 93 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,543 Mom, why don't you leave that alone, come over here 94 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,047 -and have some chicken with us, okay? -No, no. Thank you. I'm fine. 95 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,965 Made the right choice, Mother. 96 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,176 Chicken's a little undercooked. 97 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,802 Um, I… 98 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,096 L… Lloyd, ain't nothing wrong with that chicken. 99 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,349 If you want me to put it back on the grill, I will, 100 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,017 but nothing wrong with that chicken. 101 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,145 -You're a flipper, aren't you, Bernie? -I've been known. 102 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,855 Well, you flipped the bird too much. 103 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,066 Can't get cooked through and through that way. 104 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,741 Flipped the bird? I'd like to flip him the bird. 105 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,159 Come in my house… 106 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,245 All right. 107 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,707 All right. America, Bernie Mac need a break. That's all. 108 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,502 So, let me put all those people to bed and relax, breathe. 109 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,753 We all go through it. 110 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,380 This world's about sacrifice. 111 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,007 [chuckles] 112 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,802 And this is for two people? 113 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:22,804 [laughs] 114 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,597 You really are King of Comedy, aren't you? 115 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,723 Daddy. 116 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,017 Sweetie, we do not want to be any trouble. 117 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,020 -We can stay at the Wiltmore. -Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 118 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,606 Uh, no. You know what? I have a better idea. 119 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,857 [muttering] 120 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,443 Don't you do it. Wanda, don't do it! 121 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,113 I know she going to do it, America. She done did it! 122 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,865 Why you have to give up my doggone bed? 123 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,785 What was I supposed to do? I want 'em to be comfortable. 124 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:46,953 You didn't have to do that. 125 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,830 Old folks smell. 126 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,873 All up in my bed, like I can get it out. 127 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,001 Oh! Well, what you want to do now? 128 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,752 -You make allowances-- -What you wanna do? 129 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,546 You make allowances yourself. Come on. 130 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,131 [Wanda] You know what? I'll make it… 131 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:00,758 -[Bernie] Know what happened last time… -You know what happened… 132 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,094 -[Wanda] I don't remember. -Yeah, think about it. 133 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:04,929 -Yeah. -[Wanda] Yeah? 134 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,268 Oh, boy, oh, boy. 135 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,062 Wait. Where my doggone fish sticks at? 136 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,106 Woke up dreaming about 'em. 137 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,567 My mouth all set, and watering for it. 138 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,568 What type of… 139 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:19,902 hypocrites? 140 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,905 Oh. 141 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,910 So, Lloyd, I see you found my fish sticks, huh? 142 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,455 Mmm. Lightly breaded, not too fishy. 143 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,623 All in all, quite scrumptious. 144 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,833 [clears throat] 145 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,126 Oh, so, Dad, Lloyd, 146 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,961 you plan on being here long or what? 147 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,547 Yeah, well, your mattress is a little soft for my taste. 148 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,257 -Yes. -So, I think I'm going to try 149 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,092 and make a dent in my book here. 150 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,636 [sighs] 151 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,305 Uh, you mind? 152 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:50,892 Thank you. 153 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,694 America, I might be able to stomach 154 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,405 giving up my doggone bed, but not my chair, never. 155 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,824 They tryin' to take over my whole doggone house, 156 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,326 and the Mac ain't having it. 157 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,871 First thing in the morning, they're out of here! 158 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,418 [whispers] They're out of here. 159 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,669 This is about it. 160 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,546 -Wanda… -Honey? 161 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,839 Yeah. Hold on, hold on, babe. 162 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,841 I need a vacation from your parents' vacation. 163 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,802 One of us got to leave, and I live here. 164 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,637 Baby, before you do anything, 165 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,514 something wonderful has happened. 166 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,890 What, they left? 167 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,144 [laughing] 168 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,604 Uncle Bernie, 169 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,816 Grandma made sunny-side up with bacon smiley faces. 170 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,400 -Grandma? -Yeah! 171 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,236 Grandpa's going to teach me how to fish. 172 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,695 Grandma, Grandpa. 173 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,572 Grandpa. Isn't that great? 174 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,740 That's nice. 175 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:48,866 Real nice. 176 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,451 Come join us for breakfast, son. 177 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,579 Hey, don't you look pretty this morning! 178 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,248 Oh, thank you. 179 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,457 She sure does. 180 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,667 Hey, baby. 181 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,876 Yes, honey. 182 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,962 -Drop it like it's hot. -Ooh, really? 183 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,213 -Uh-uh! -Oh, what? 184 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,172 No, she didn't. 185 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,091 [laughter] 186 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,467 Oh, my! 187 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:09,512 America, my baby Wanda was right. 188 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,848 Something wonderful has happened. 189 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,016 See, those grand pains in the ass 190 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,476 have become grandparents… 191 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,396 something those kids never ever had. 192 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,398 Look how happy they are. 193 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,275 And for that, America, 194 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,444 I could put up with almost anything. 195 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,531 They turned my frown into a smile. 196 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,328 -[Bryana] Grandma? -[Grandma] I'm in here, precious! 197 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:39,250 Oh, the sweet sound of grandparents, America. 198 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,252 I'm happy for those kids. 199 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,545 When they grow older, 200 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,505 they have fond memories of their grandparents, 201 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,174 just like I did about Big Mama. 202 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,177 Just imagine fresh-squeezed lemonade. 203 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,304 A quarter for being good. 204 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:54,098 Peach cobbler cooling on the windowsill. 205 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,226 [high-pitched] "Oh, it's not ready yet, baby." 206 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,896 "Get away from that cobbler before I knock you out." 207 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,274 [in normal voice] Oh, America, I remember it like yesterday. 208 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,903 I just hope they'll shower those kids with lots of love. 209 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,780 And maybe they get off my doggone back. 210 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:12,074 Hey, good morning, sweetie pie. 211 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,494 Why don't you sit down and let me make you some breakfast? 212 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,829 Uh, no, thanks. My ride will be here any minute. 213 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:17,914 You sure? 214 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,749 Grandma make a mean waffle. 215 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,000 She's not my grandmother. 216 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,168 Hey, hey, hey. 217 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,961 -[horns honking] -Be nice. 218 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,254 I got to go. 219 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,554 Ignorant. 220 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,306 It's all right. 221 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,350 You know, America… 222 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,353 see, it take Nessa a while to warm up, 223 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,313 if you know what I mean. Y'all know her. 224 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,648 Who can blame her? 225 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,816 See, her mama had a lot of people coming around 226 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,569 calling themselves cousins, aunts, and uncles. 227 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:52,114 A lot of uncles… if you know what I mean. 228 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,909 [school bell rings] 229 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,661 We'll walk her in. 230 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,996 Mama, you don't have to walk her in. School's right here. 231 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,290 -We can just go home. -Oh, relax, Hollywood. 232 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,334 What else have you got to do, huh? 233 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,711 Sit around and make that big old afro round? 234 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,216 [laughs] 235 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,265 Talkin' about? It ain't that doggone big. 236 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,068 -[school bell rings] -Ready for the history test on Friday? 237 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,528 No way. 238 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,738 Um, I could come over and help you study. 239 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,866 Well, we have people visiting. Oh, and besides, 240 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,202 any time a guy comes anywhere near me, 241 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,329 my Uncle Bernie gives this look like… 242 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,251 Let me see. 243 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,508 Call me if you need help. 244 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,513 What if I need help? 245 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,016 [laughs] 246 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,146 [sighs] 247 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,898 Thank you so much for coming. 248 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,442 You know, it is such a treat 249 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,652 to finally meet someone from Bryana's family. 250 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,779 What? Doesn't he ever visit? 251 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,197 I love to volunteer my time, 252 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,242 but with my busy schedule, I just don't have time. 253 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:22,038 You know, we're still looking for parents for the spring carnival. 254 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,914 Spring won't be a good time for me. 255 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,166 Sign him up. 256 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:26,876 Figures. 257 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,086 -[knocking] -[Wanda] Come in. 258 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,130 -Hi, babies. -Oh, hey, Mom. 259 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,132 Hey. Here's the kids' laundry. 260 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,134 -Oh, thank you, Mom. -Uh-huh. 261 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,472 [laughs] I, um, did this yesterday. 262 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,265 You did? 263 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,851 -Well, it looked kind of dingy. -[groans] 264 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,145 Little secret. 265 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:49,565 Just a quarter cup of bleach and just a pinch of baking soda. 266 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,276 Just thought I'd show you how it could look. 267 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,029 -Thank you. -Oh, you're so welcome! 268 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,698 "How it could look." 269 00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,283 -Huh? -"How it could look." 270 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,910 Did she just say, "how it could look"? 271 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,496 -What, you ain't listening? -Okay, you know what? 272 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,414 She just wants me to… [takes deep breath] 273 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,333 Oh, come on. Do what? Come on. It's me. 274 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,126 Ooh, I want to pop! 275 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,628 -Pop go the weasel. -Oh! 276 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,631 Yesterday she showed me how to grease Bryana's scalp. 277 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,049 Said that it was too dry. 278 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,801 Nothing wrong with baby girl's scalp. 279 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,678 I know there ain't nothing wrong. I grease it all the time. 280 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,389 You know what? I was trying to be nice. 281 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,933 What about your food? She said your food's too salty. 282 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,103 -It's giving all the kids hypertension. -I know. She's crazy. 283 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,979 Salt don't give kids hypertension. 284 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,399 Overbearing mothers give kids hypertension. 285 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,150 -[screams] -[knocking] 286 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,736 [Lloyd] Can you keep it down in there? 287 00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,696 Thank you. 288 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,698 I told you. You want me to call the big fellow? 289 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,077 -We'll smother him in his sleep. -No. It's my daddy. 290 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:43,994 You don't know that. 291 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,622 America, you know the problem with grandparents? 292 00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:47,873 They're cocky. 293 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,667 Think they know everything. 294 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,918 They should concentrate 295 00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:53,129 on buying presents and pinching cheeks 296 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:56,006 instead of telling me how to raise my kids. 297 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,718 See, I thought in-laws was bad, but grandparents are worse. 298 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,096 They makes my ass itch. 299 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,643 [chuckling] 300 00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:08,853 Good morning. 301 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,020 Good morning. 302 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,148 Anything interesting in the world? 303 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,067 Oh, a bunch of stuff interesting in the world, Dad. 304 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:19,196 It say right here that dentists got the highest suicidal rate out of all doctors. 305 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,365 Yeah, and the highest homicide rate, too. 306 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,286 See, see, you can't let your guard down, King of Comedy. 307 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:26,537 No, you can't, you can't. 308 00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,457 Oh, look, honey. They're having a modern art exhibit 309 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,750 -at the gallery downtown. -[mumbling] No. 310 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,837 Oh, why don't you both go? We'll watch the kids. 311 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,964 [both chuckling] 312 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,799 -Okay. -Okay. [chuckling] 313 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,843 Somebody make a joke? 314 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,637 No, Mom, Dad, we… we really 315 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,514 appreciate it, but I got so much I got to do. 316 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,725 I got to get baby girl, she got ballet at 2:00. 317 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,436 -Then I got to take Jordan, he got-- -Buh, buh, buh. 318 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,230 I think we can handle a couple of kids. 319 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,941 We do have 30 years in the business. 320 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,862 [Bernie and Wanda chattering] 321 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,123 Okay. 322 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,958 You forgot my tutu. 323 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,169 Oh. Okay, hold on. 324 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:16,253 [muttering] 325 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,298 [footsteps running] 326 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,595 [humming] 327 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,222 Okay, got the tutu, honey. 328 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,181 There you go. 329 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:28,974 Good? 330 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,768 Wait… 331 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,355 Hey, can I give you a ride somewhere? 332 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,441 Uh… no, thanks. My friends are coming to pick me up. 333 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:41,237 Oh… I was hoping we'd get to spend some girl time together. 334 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,405 -Maybe later. -Okay. 335 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:44,782 Have fun. 336 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,123 All right? Good. 337 00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,671 -[knocking] -Grandma, I have to go tee-tee. 338 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,006 [Wanda chuckling] 339 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:08,847 Jordan! 340 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:12,476 Jordan, lunch is ready. 341 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:17,648 Jordan! 342 00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,448 Oh… it's the last piece. 343 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,410 I'm having such a good time, I don't want to go home yet. 344 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:32,037 Who said we do? Let's get a bite to eat. 345 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,372 Shouldn't we call? 346 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,832 It's still early. 347 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,001 Hey, your parents and them got it under control. 348 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,252 They 30 years in the game. 349 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,712 -That's funny. -You like that? 350 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,133 You have to take off your tutu. 351 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,301 No! 352 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,428 You're going to give me a heart attack. 353 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,513 Mother, now, I'm getting a little worried. 354 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:50,472 [panting] 355 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,932 I still can't find that boy. 356 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,226 -Good, huh? -Mmm. 357 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,731 Mm-mm. 358 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,193 Jordan! 359 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,071 Jordan, where are you, boy? 360 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,116 Ow! 361 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,535 Oh, gee… Mother, I found him. 362 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,828 He's in the tree. 363 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,496 Boy, how did you get up there? 364 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,165 With my super powers. 365 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,959 -Your super powers? Get down here! -No! 366 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,544 Boy, don't make me get the hose. 367 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,212 [growls] Okay. 368 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:23,881 [whimpering] 369 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:24,965 Come on. 370 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,259 Come… Jordan, get down here. 371 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,595 [screaming] 372 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,431 Okay, okay, come on, son. Just… just calm down. 373 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,728 [sighing] 374 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,983 Honey, do you think we should call? 375 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,237 Oh, Wanda, baby, stop it, will you? 376 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,699 And just relax and enjoy your massage, okay? 377 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,539 You want me to call? 378 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,961 Thank you, ma'am. 379 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,509 [moans] Whoa. 380 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,221 He… I think I got the machine, baby. 381 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,430 Leave a message, honey. 382 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,766 -Lloyd? -What? What? 383 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,726 Lloyd, I hear Bernie's voice on the machine. 384 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,520 Well, then tell him… What, his voice? 385 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:20,771 Just hold on, son, hold on. 386 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:23,023 -Hold… just be… -Get me down! 387 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150 [Bernie] We're just calling to check in. 388 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,235 Hello! 389 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,028 Trying to make sure everything okay. 390 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,573 Uh, if you like, you can call us back on our phone, okay? 391 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,534 -All right, bye-bye. -No, no, wait, wait, wait. 392 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:34,952 Come back, come back. 393 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,578 The boy is up a tree. 394 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,331 Mother… Mother, how do you get him back? 395 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,084 [Chuy] Hey, man, it's Chuy. 396 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,420 Let me know when those annoying grandparents are gone 397 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,796 so we can play some poker. 398 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,966 -Annoy… -[beep] 399 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,718 ["Rescue Me" playing] 400 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:51,969 ♪ Rescue me ♪ 401 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,304 ♪ Oh take me in your arms ♪ 402 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,723 ♪ Rescue me ♪ 403 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,684 ♪ I want your tender charms ♪ 404 00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,977 [Jordan shrieks] 405 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,104 ♪ And I'm blue ♪ 406 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,522 [Jordan] I'm okay! 407 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,024 [light applause] 408 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,775 ♪ Come on and rescue me ♪ 409 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,402 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 410 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:09,361 What's going on? 411 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,656 Oh, my brother's up a tree again. 412 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,533 [distant whistling] 413 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,577 Can I come in? 414 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,122 Sure. 415 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,458 -[music playing] -Oh, I love this song. 416 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,959 Can you download it? 417 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,669 Sure. Let me show you how. 418 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,172 First… 419 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,631 click there. 420 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,844 And then… click there. 421 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,644 [door opening] 422 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,273 Um… 423 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,067 I better go. 424 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,740 [Bernie] …all day. 425 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,158 [giggling] 426 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,951 I ain't gonna be quiet in my own house. 427 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,328 -Shh… -Shoot… 428 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,580 Shush me baby, shoot. 429 00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,082 -[gasps] -What? 430 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,585 Oh, Mom, Dad, uh… We didn't know you were up. 431 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,796 Do you two realize what time it is? 432 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:13,383 Oh, my God, um… we're, uh, sorry. [laughing] 433 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,512 -Have you two been drinking? -Just a little bit. 434 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,931 [laughing] 435 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,974 -We've been trying to call, but… -Yes, we have. 436 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,684 …but ain't nobody answer the phone. 437 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,686 We don't know how to work that computer. 438 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:25,938 [laughing] 439 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,857 It's an answering machine, Dad. 440 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,111 And we also figured that, you know, 441 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,363 there would be no problem in babysitting. 442 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:38,992 [clears throat] Seeing that you have 30 years of experience with your own kids. 443 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,452 What are you talking about? 444 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,997 Well, Mom, you've been treating us like we don't know what we're doing. 445 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:47,000 No, no, we're just trying to pass on 446 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,753 some helpful hints that we learned along the way. 447 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,923 No, you came in here like you were better than us. 448 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,592 Like you invented kids. 449 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,219 Like y'all got a manual. 450 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,804 If that's how you feel… 451 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:01,682 maybe we should leave. 452 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,562 Um, can I talk to you? 453 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,939 Sure, come on in, precious. Sit. 454 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,777 Am I in big trouble? 455 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,821 Oh. I didn't tell them. 456 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,447 -You didn't? -Uh-huh. 457 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,993 Vanessa, I had plenty of boyfriends when I was your age. 458 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,580 Oh, what? You think I was born married to that old man? 459 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:26,999 Oh! Honey… 460 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,794 I remember what it's like to be a young girl. 461 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,299 But I also remember what it's like to be a good girl now. 462 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,634 And a good girl minds her knickers, 463 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,886 you know what I'm saying? 464 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,805 [both chuckling] 465 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,393 Mmm. 466 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:48,729 So… 467 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,480 do you want to hang out for a while? 468 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,733 Oh, well, maybe next time, precious. 469 00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,402 -Your grandfather and I are leaving. -Leaving? 470 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,779 But we were just getting to know each other, Grandma. 471 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,115 Baby, come on. I know, I know. 472 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,163 Why is Grandma leaving? 473 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,623 It's complicated, Nessa. 474 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,750 But they've only been here three days. 475 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,211 Baby, it's grown folks' business. You wouldn't understand. 476 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,880 -Don't worry about it, okay? -I understand. 477 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,090 Everybody's always leaving. 478 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,550 Oh, Nessa… 479 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,719 What am I doing, America? 480 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,888 Did y'all hear that girl? 481 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,723 I tell you what she said. 482 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,308 She said, "Grandma." 483 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:28,143 And that's probably the first time 484 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,520 she's said "Grandma" in her life. 485 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,606 I can't let them walk out that door. 486 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,275 See, sometimes, it's hard to see clearly 487 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,486 when another man's drinking out of your mug, 488 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,073 eating your fish filets, calling you a bad parent. 489 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,909 Sally up on the dunking booth. 490 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,869 But that's family, America. 491 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,872 And you all got the same thing, too. 492 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,917 So, America, excuse me. 493 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,419 I've got to go smooth things over. 494 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,881 ♪ Gonna keep the family groove ♪ 495 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,342 I ain't got nothing. 496 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,220 -[Lloyd] Bring it on, bring it on. -Oh-oh! Oh! Oh-oh! Oh! 497 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,596 Play 'em. Play 'em. 498 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,266 -Oh… [groaning] -Oh, yeah! Mother! 499 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,017 Drop it like it's hot. 500 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,560 Oh, baby. 501 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,398 Oh, that's nice. Real nice. 502 00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,399 That was a… 503 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,400 She had it all! 504 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:17,734 I know it. You see it? 505 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,532 Even when they're trying to be nice, they're annoying. 506 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,618 Look at this. What the… is this? 507 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,829 [scoffs] Boy, I'm telling you. 508 00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:30,622 Boy, they something else, man. 509 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,708 Suddenly I feel like I need a Bible. 510 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,754 The Lord work in mysterious ways. 511 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,591 All I need is a radio. 512 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,348 Make me want to spit.